We all have seen and loved the movie “Munna bhai – MBBS”. The most adorable part being the ‘jaadu ki jhappi’. And why not - a big warm hug makes us feel good, it alleviate some of the pain.
Researchers have concluded that a young child’s growth needs a lot of different sensory stimulation for normal development. Skin contact or physical touch such as hugging is one of the most important stimulation required to grow a healthy brain and a strong body. Studies also found that not all types of touch are beneficial. Only a nurturing touch like gentle hugging can provide that positive stimulation a young brain needs.
Few days back, my tween was bullied in school by 3 senior boys. Though he was really lucky to be saved by a teacher’s timely intervention but definitely he was upset and a bit scared. He came back from school and narrated the whole incident to me. I could see and feel the tremble in his voice. Disturbed myself, I was in a dilemma. The practical mommy in me was directing me not to get that senti and let ‘him’ manage all his emotions as I could see that he was on the verge of crying, but the inherent mommy in me just wanted to hug him tightly so that he can shed all his fears and thoughts along with those tears. And, needless to mention I chose the second. I hugged him tightly and he in turn hugged me even more tighter. He wept in my arms and cried like he did when he was a toddler, overwhelmed and unsure. It was so relieving for him as well as for me. No words in the world could do that healing what that hug did. A hug was what he needed.
But why?
Here’s why…
1. Science says hugs make kids smart and grow healthy.
When children are deprived of physical contact, their bodies stop growing despite normal intake of nutrients. These children suffer from failure to thrive. This growth deficiency can be improved when nurturing touches and hugs are provided.
Hugging boosts the level of oxytocin, also known as love hormone. Increase in oxytocin in turn increases the level of many growth hormones. Hence, the nurturing touch of a hug can enhance child’s growth.
2. Hugs help children in an emotional crash.
When a toddler throws tantrums, act out or misbehaves, they don’t do it intentionally. Rather, it’s a cry for help. They can’t express their big feelings in a more appropriate way, they cant channelize or even verbalize their emotional tornado. They need your help. And a hug can open the doors to more open talk making the dealing easy.
3. Hugs give an opportunity to co-operate and connect.
We might dislike some behavior, but we still love our kids no matter what. Our kids need to know that and sometimes they needed to be reminded of it, over and over and over . Hugging allows that connection.
4. Happy Hugs make happy kids
Hugs boost optimism and self-esteem. The ‘love hormone’ we talked about makes the child feel loved.
5. Hugs are the best buddies
Because our kids learn better with love than with punishment. A hug and a chat will get a better response than yelling and punishment.
6. Lastly and honestly, sometimes it is us adults who need a hug – when our kids are hurting, frustrated, yelling on us and we just don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes it is us parents who need that connection, reassurance and a hug.
So, next time your little one is having a hard time, offer a hug. I know it’s hard sometimes to beat that frustration.
I know, sometimes your offer will be thrown back, especially if you have older kids…..
But offer anyway…!!!
Hugs ARE magical.
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